Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
