but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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