I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
organizing the empties. That sober.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
