We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Houston, we have a blender
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
