Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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