my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is it penis luge time yet?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
