All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
