Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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