OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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