Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
