I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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