i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
