do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize