...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
