Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
