i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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