I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
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