That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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