it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
