Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
