I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize