I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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