I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
