you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
