my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
