you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
