Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
