so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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