not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
