"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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