he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
