Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
vagina is talking i cant
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
