Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize