So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
