and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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