its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
