my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
