It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
