I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude. I can hear the air.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
