why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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