I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
