there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
