I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
