he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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