my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
