i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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