As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
