In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
