so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
