If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize