I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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