you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
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We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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