woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
