there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
