he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
