theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
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She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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