I'm so fucking centered right now
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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