Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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