I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
a search helicopter?!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
