kristin has been a bad kristin
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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