I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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