I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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