i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
