Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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