so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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