jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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