Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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