I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Farmville is her only friend.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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