Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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