Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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