I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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