i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
