I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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