Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
